Just For Youth
There are simple rules to keep you safe online. Speak to your parents regarding online safety. They will respect you for asking for their involvement in keeping you safe. For bullying or cyberbullying concerns see “Bullying” at this website.
- Follow the online rules you set as a family.
- NEVER MEET ANYONE IN PERSON THAT YOU HAVE MET ON THE INTERNET OR BY CELLPHONE OR EMAIL. Many of these men and women are dangerous predators that depend on you trusting them…on you being innocent and naive.
- Never trade personal photographs in the mail or scanned photographs over the Internet or by cellphone. Never use a webcam with anyone you don’t know personally and especially do not use a webcam with someone you have met on the Internet. Hackers can access your camera even if your computer is turned off. Always turn off your computer and close the top of your computer or put a white sticker over the camera. They can hack your cellphone the same way also.
- Never reveal personal information, such as address, phone number, school name, team name, family information, or any locations. Never agree to meet anyone from a chatroom in person.
- Never respond to a threatening email or message.
- Always tell a parent about any communication or conversation that was scary or made you uncomfortable.
- Predators (people that will hurt you) pretend to be someone else and can even send photographs of teens that have no relationship to them, pretending to be these people.
- Think about what you post. Even people you consider friends can use this against you in the future.
- Don’t talk about sex with strangers. If the conversation starts about sex or physical details, don’t continue the conversation. If the conversation continues, call your local police or contact www.cybertipline.com.
- Avoid in-person meetings. The only way someone can physically harm you is if you are both in the same location, so don’t meet them in person.
- Remember that what you say in a chatroom or instant messaging session is live – you can’t take it back or delete it later.
- Don’t reveal your actual location or when and where you plan to hang out.
- There is facial-recognition software. Someone could scan your face in a crowd and then pull-up all your social media information. They then may approach you or contact you online or on your cellphone acting as if you had met or have mutual friends. You may think they are telling you the truth because they know so much about you. They are deceiving you to have access to you to harm you.
- If someone is bullying or threatening you online, tell a parent or someone you trust. (See Bullying at this website for Cyberbullying)
Grooming or “Convincing You to Contact Him/Her”
Grooming online is a process whereby an adult with a sexual interest in children or young teens seeks to prepare or “groom” a child or teen for sexual abuse.
Does the person online:
- Present as a child or teen about your age or older?
- Start off as a friend, and then try to gain influence and control over your online relationship?
- Want you to watch a sexual act or send you sexual adult words or images and videos?
- Ask you personal sexual questions?
- Want to meet you in person, or know personal information about you such as where you live, go to school, your last name, sports you are involved in, the street you live on, neighborhood, businesses near your home or school, and gain “insider” information about you and your family, friends, etc.?
- Tell you they have been hurt by someone, have controlling parents that do not treat them like adults and don’t respect their privacy or decisions, try to identify with you by having similar experiences?
- Try to bribe you with “I will take you shopping and buy you something if we can meet?”
- Threaten you if you tell anyone, and that they will deny it and call you a liar?
- Tell you they will go to jail if you tell anyone?
- Send you a photograph of a good-looking boy or girl and tell you that this is a photograph of them?
- Tell you that they will stop communicating with you if you tell anyone?
- Tell you that this would really hurt your parents if they knew?
- Tell you things like, “Everybody does this.” “Your parents just want to control you.” “I would never treat you like this.” “I love and care for you.”?
- Seem very charming or helpful?
- Want to meet you in-person privately or in a parking lot, or some place without your family present?
These people are dangerous and you need to notify your parents or a trusted adult immediately to protect you and your family. Have them contact the police. These actions will protect you and others from being harmed.
SEXUAL ASSAULT PREVENTION
See Sexual Assault at this website.
Alcohol is still the #1 date rape drug. You are 20x’s more likely to be sexually assaulted if you are drinking alcohol. When males are drinking they are more likely to misinterpret a female’s behavior such as smiling, laughter, etc., as permission for sex, and these perpetrators will use this as an excuse for assault. Alcohol slows reflexes and can impair a persons ability to recognize a potentially dangerous situation. Alcohol impairs judgment and lowers inhibitions and your ability to make safe decisions. Alcohol is involved in over 50% of all sexual assaults.
HOW TO PROTECT YOURSELF
Being sexually assaulted is never your fault. You are not the person who is in the wrong – it is the assailant who has committed the crime. However, there are things that you can do which may help to lower your risk of being assaulted.
- Set sexual limits and clearly communicate them to your partner
- Be assertive
- Listen to and trust your intuition and “gut feelings”
- Notice your own fears
- Be cautious in a new place – too much trust can be dangerous
- Consider paying your own way on dates
- Don’t let someone into your home that you may be uncomfortable asking to leave your home
- Be very aware of your limits when drinking or using drugs
- Open your own drinks
- Don’t share/exchange drinks with anyone
- Don’t drink from a container that is being passed around
- Don’t drink from a punch bowl or beer-bong
- Never leave your drink unattended
- Choose drinks that you are familiar with and know your limits
- Don’t drink anything that has an unusual taste or appearance
- Don’t assume that your friends are looking out for you or can protect you from harm
- If you do drink or do drugs, do so in moderation
Alcohol is still the #1 date rape drug See “Sexual Assault” on this website
IF YOU ARE SEXUALLY ASSAULTED
Get to a safe place and call the police. Do not shower, bathe, douche, wash your hands, brush your teeth, or use the toilet. Don’t change or destroy clothing. Don’t straighten up. If you do, you may destroy important evidence. This ensures the best possible evidence collection. If you have already showered, etc., go to the hospital, they may need to treat you for any injury or sexually transmitted diseases, etc. Newark Wayne Community Hospital has a SANE program (Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner), you can call at (315) 332-2022. This program is a service provided to victims of sexual assault by specially trained registered nurses. Call the Victim Resource Center (VRC) at the VRC office, (315) 331-1171 for advocacy, short-term counseling, criminal justice support (if you decide to contact the police), and additional assistance.
DATING VIOLENCE PREVENTION
Are you in a dangerous dating relationship? NEVER MEET SOMEONE YOU ARE ARGUING WITH/BREAKING UP WITH OR YOU ARE NO LONGER DATING ALONE OR WITH JUST THE TWO OF YOU AT A PRIVATE LOCATION!!! MEET THE PERSON IN A PUBLIC PLACE (INSIDE A RESTAURANT OR STORE) NOT IN A PARKING LOT OR AT A HOME. ALWAYS BRING 2-3 PEOPLE WITH YOU TO THE PUBLIC PLACE. NEVER MEET THIS PERSON ALONE!!!
One in four teens reports they are in or were in a dating violence relationship. Red flag behaviors:
- S/he acts jealous and possessive
- Puts you down and puts down your ideas
- Won’t let you have friends
- Checks up on you
- Bosses you around
- Refuses to accept breaking up
- Insists on making all or most of the decisions
- Frightens or threatens you
- Owns, uses or talks a lot about weapons
- Acts violent, gets into fights or angers quickly
- Pushes, grabs, pinches or hits you
- Uses alcohol or other drugs and pressures you to use
- Pressures you for sex or gets serious about your relationship too fast
- Uses alcohol or drugs as an excuse for his/her behaviors
- Has been involved in a number of failed relationships
- Has no respect for your parents, for his/her parents, teachers
- Won’t take “No” as an answer for anything
DANGEROUS DATING INDICATORS
- People who do not listen
- People who ignore your wishes or boundaries
- People who pressure you to do something you don’t want to through guilt
- People who are overly jealous and possessive
- People who drink heavily or use drugs
- People that do not respect and do not see you as their equals
DATING BILL OF RIGHTS
I have the right to:
- Ask for a date
- Refuse a date
- Suggest activities
- Refuse any activities, even if my date is excited about them
- Have my own feelings and be able to express them
- Say, “I think my friend is wrong and his actions are inappropriate”
- Tell someone not to interrupt me
- Have my limits and values respected
- Tell my partner when I need affection
- Refuse affection
- Be heard
- Refuse to lend money
- Refuse sex any time, for any reason
- Have friends and space aside from my partner
I have the responsibility to:
- Determine my limits and values
- Respect the limits of others
- Communicate clearly and honestly
- Not violate the limits of others
- Ask for help when I need it
- Be considerate
- Check my actions and decisions to determine whether they are good or bad for me
- Set high goals for myself
If you feel you are in danger, call 911, then go to a parent, school counselor, or trusted adult and request help. Call the Victim Resource Center at (315) 331-1171 x303, or if you need to speak with someone immediately, call the VRC hotline at:
(866) 343-8808 or (800) 456-1172
or you may
text message to 315-879-8200
How May We Help?
LET’S FIND A WAY FORWARD TOGETHER.