Teen Dating Violence 2017-12-07T08:06:22+00:00



Alcohol is still the #1 date rape drug. You are 20x’s more likely to be sexually assaulted if you are drinking alcohol. When males are drinking they are more likely to misinterpret a female’s behavior such as smiling, laughter, etc., as permission for sex. Alcohol slows reflexes and can impair a person’s ability to recognize a potentially dangerous situation. Alcohol impairs judgment and lowers inhibitions and your ability to make safe decisions. Alcohol is involved in over 50% of all sexual assaults.

Set sexual limits and clearly communicate them to your partner
  • Be assertive
  • Listen to and trust your intuition and “gut feelings”
  • Notice your own fears
  • Be cautious in a new place – too much trust can be dangerous
  • Consider paying your own way on dates
  • Don’t let someone into your home that you don’t feel comfortable being assertive with or asking to leave
  • Choose drinks that you are familiar with and know your limits
  • Open your own drinks
  • Don’t drink from a container that is being passed around
  • Don’t drink from a punch bowl or beer-bong
  • Never leave your drink unattended
  • Choose drinks that you are familiar with
  • Don’t drink anything that has an unusual taste or appearance
  • Don’t assume that your friends are looking out for you or can protect you from harm
  • If you do drink or do drugs, do so in moderation
  • Alcohol is still the #1 date rape drug
  • Call 911 if you are in danger.
  • Call the VRC at 1-866-343-8808 (Crisis Hotline)


Get to a safe place and call the police. Do not shower, bathe, douche, wash your hands, brush your teeth, or use the toilet. Don’t change or destroy clothing. Don’t straighten up. If you do, you may destroy important evidence. This ensures the best possible evidence collection. If you have already showered, etc., go to the hospital, they may need to treat you for any injury or sexually transmitted diseases, etc. Newark Wayne Community Hospital has a SANE program (Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner), you can call at (315) 332-2022. This program is a service provided to victims of sexual assault by specially trained registered nurses. If you approve, the VRC will meet you at the hospital.


Are you in a dangerous dating relationship? One in four teens reports they are in or were in a dating violence relationship. Red flag behaviors:

  • S/he acts jealous and possessive
  • Puts you down and puts down your ideas
  • Won’t let you have friends
  • Checks up on you
  • Bosses you around
  • Refuses to accept breaking up
  • Insists on making all or most of the decisions
  • Frightens or threatens you
  • Owns, uses or talks a lot about weapons
  • Acts violent, gets into fights or angers quickly
  • Pushes, grabs, pinches or hits you
  • Uses alcohol or other drugs and pressures you to use
  • Pressures you for sex or gets serious about your relationship too fast
  • Uses alcohol or drugs as an excuse for his/her behaviors
  • Has been involved in a number of failed relationships
  • Has no respect for your parents, for his/her parents, teachers
  • Won’t take no as an answer for anything


  • People who do not listen
  • People who ignore your wishes or boundaries
  • People who pressure you to do something you don’t want to through guilt
  • People who are overly jealous and possessive
  • People who drink heavily or use drugs
  • People that do not respect and do not see you as their equals


Dating Bill of Rights – I have the right to:
  1. Ask for a date
  2. Refuse a date
  3. Suggest activities
  4. Refuse any activities, even if my date is excited about them
  5. Have my own feelings and be able to express them
  6. Say, “I think my friend is wrong and his actions are inappropriate”
  7. Tell someone not to interrupt me
  8. Have my limits and values respected
  9. Tell my partner when I need affection
  10. Refuse affection
  11. Be heard
  12. Refuse to lend money
  13. Refuse sex any time, for any reason
  14. Have friends and space aside from my partner
I have the responsibility to:
  1. Determine my limits and values
  2. Respect the limits of others
  3. Communicate clearly and honestly
  4. Not violate the limits of others
  5. Ask for help when I need it
  6. Be considerate
  7. Check my actions and decisions to determine whether they are good or bad for me
  8. Set high goals for myself

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